Barcelona or Bust!
by futbalfreak18
Summary: 4/9/Rose/K-9 finally make it to the planet Barcelona! Dogs with no noses, y'know. A challenge between the Doctors goes awry when Rose decides to intercede. Established relationship. 4/9/Rose Please Read and Review. More chaps to come.
1. Chapter 1

Barcelona or Bust!

By futbalfreak18

With help from baka rangers purple and blue

I wish I had claim. But I don't. -pouts-

* * *

"Barcelona, Barcelona, Barcelona OR BUST!" The ninth Doctor sang as he danced around the main control room of the TARDIS.

Rose smiled. "Is it really so special? I've never seen you dancing around the TARDIS like this. You're acting like Christmas cam early. That's usually him." Rose nodded her head to the fourth Doctor who was working away furiously at the counsel, spinning knobs and twirling thingamabobs.

The ninth Doctor swept Rose up in his arms and pulled her into a quick foxtrot.

"You have no idea. I mean, dogs with no noses!" The ninth Doctor had a boyish grin plastered across his face. "Oh, Rose…" He looked directly into her amber eyes, with his own blue ones. "Rose, I have wanted to take you here for so long, but then we get emergency beacons or attacked…" He drifted off, and their dancing slowed. The ninth Doctor bent down slightly to claim Rose's lips in a gentle kiss.

"Hey, now" the fourth Doctor burst in. He walked over, smirking. Rose and the ninth Doctor broke away to turn and look at him.

The fourth Doctor grabbed Rose's right arm, pulling her into a long, passionate kiss of his own. When he finally pulled away for air, Rose's cheeks were tinged a light red.

"She's mine." the fourth Doctor said, grinning. The ninth Doctor grabbed Rose's other arm.

"No, she's mine."

"I say otherwise."

"I'm older. I've known her longer. AND I'm definitely more handsome than you. Mine." The ninth Doctor replied, leveling a look at his counterpart.

"I've got a scarf, ascot, vest, coat, curly hair, and dazzling grin. I'm better-looking than you every day of the week."

"Oh, are you challenging me?" The ninth Doctor smiled.

"Hold the phon-" Rose tried to interrupt. This was not a good idea. This was not a good idea at all.

"Let's see." The ninth Doctor kept on talking. "If you can turn more heads on Barcelona than I can…" He paused, considering. "Then you can go on a date with Rose, anywhere, without my interference."

"Deal." the fourth Doctor replied.

"But if you lose-"

"I know, the same goes for you."

The pair grinned at each other.

"Woah now, hold on a second here. I don-" Rose began.

A crash reverberated around them, and the TARDIS shook violently.

"We have arrived on Barcelona, Mistress" K-9 said, as he rolled into the room.

"K-9!" the fourth Doctor shouted, sounding delighted, despite being completely ignored by his metal companion. "Keep count of how many people-"

"and dogs" the ninth Doctor interrupted.

"and dogs," the fourth Doctor continued, "who look at him, and those who look at me."

"Yes, Doctor-Master, but why should I-"

"No 'but's K-9. Let's roll out!" the fourth Doctor said.

"Wait, but…" Rose stopped. Both of the Doctors, with K-9 close on their heels, had raced out of the TARDIS, leaving her only their dust.


	2. Chapter 2

Barcelona or Bust!

By futbalfreak18

With help from baka rangers purple and blue

Dedicated to seablue4u

I lay no claim on anything Doctor Who.

* * *

Rose did not like this.

Rose did not like this one bit.

Not only were HER Doctors ignoring her, they were showing off. To OTHER women. And dogs even!

Not to say that Barcelona wasn't very nice. In fact, Rose had decided early on that she rather liked Barcelona. The planet was very much like the city. A light breeze danced along Rose's face as she looked around her. Off in the distance she could see a large body of water. All of the sandstone buildings surrounding where she stood were lit up with fairy lights, and booths lined the streets. It was obvious there was a celebration of some sort going on. People were dancing in the street, and everyone was wearing colorfully decorated attire.

And there were dogs everywhere.

Rose hadn't known what to expect. Dogs with no noses? But it hadn't actually been that shocking. The dogs' snouts were just sort of flattened. They looked kinda like shovels, because where the nose should have been, the snout just tapered off. Rose was curious as to how they breathed if they had no noses, but if she had learned anything traveling with the Doctors, it was that sometimes questions were better left unasked.

However, apparently dogs with no noses were in possession of higher thinking capabilities. And speech! Rose supposed it was like the way people who go blind find that their other senses are much more acute. Still, she had jumped nearly a foot in the air when she bent down to pet a particularly cute Labrador, and gotten yelled at for invading private space.

Rose groaned. The Doctors were parading up and down the street being "conspicuously inconspicuous". The ninth Doctor had gone for the dangerous, James Bond look, his arms crossed as he leaned against the various buildings and light posts, staring at everyone that passed. If anything, he looked more like a thief or perverted creeper, than the debonair spy, James Bond. The fourth Doctor at least acted like a normal tourist, but every few steps he took as he walked along, he would adjust his scarf in large, sweeping motions. Or he would take his coat off with a flourish. Only to put it back on after another few steps with an even greater flourish.

Rose sighed and sat down with her back against one of the warm buildings in a quieter portion of the street. She looked at the dirt she sat on, and began tracing circles and figures with her fingers.

Not only did they look ridiculous, the Doctors were actually getting attention! And not the amused stares of people watching someone weirder than themselves, but the adoring stares of women (and dogs) who found the object of their gaze attracting and alluring.

This was not right.

This was not right at all.

Something had to be done…

"What's the matter, honey? You look upset."

"Yeah, whatsa matta' toots? Someone get up in your grill or did Sparky move on to the big dog house in the sky 'cuz ya got this whole sad-angry thing going and-"

"Shut up" There was a low growl.

"Yes, ma'am."

Rose looked up from her pictures in the dirt.

On her left sat a large Irish Setter, the long, red hair on its stomach barely touching the ground. Next to it sat a small Jack Russell Terrier, its face, a light shad of brown except for a blaze of white between the centers of its eyes. The rest of the terrier was entirely white, but for one large, black spot on its right hip. The terrier's tail twitched.

The pair sat stock-still.

And stared.

"Uh, nothings wrong." Rose said. "I'm just waiting for a couple of friends." She smiled.

The setter placed a paw on Rose's knee.

"Honey, you are lying to me through your teeth." The setter's voice was feminine, and seemed to have an American accent. Rose found it comforting. "I've seen my fair share of the world, and enough of it to know when a human is telling me false. So be honest." The setter removed its paw. "Tell me what's bothering you. Maybe we can help."

"Yeah, toots." The terrier spoke quickly, and was more masculine with a slight Chicago accent. At least, that was what Rose thought. She wasn't exactly the best at accents.

"Yeah, we can help. We're to help. Help is what we do. You can call me Handy Andy. Or Hot Electrician. Or the Hot Guy from Down the Hall who fixes my Sink. Or-"

"I thought I told you to shut up." The setter cuffed the terrier with a paw. She turned to Rose.

"Don't listen to him. I think he's had one too many dog biscuits tonight."

The terrier's entire body was twitching, and every few seconds he would run around in a small circle. Rose nearly laughed at his antics, but managed to contain it in and smiled broadly.

"Now, there's a genuine smile, huh?" the setter continued. "Feel free to laugh at him if you want. His name's Buster, but you're welcome to call him Stupid. And to him, I'm the Almighty Queen of the Free World, but you can call me Rose." She tilted her head, and her lips curled just a little as if she were smiling.

"Whoa, your name is Rose too?" Human Rose sat forward.

The setter nodded. "Is there a better name, for a gorgeous, red-haired beauty like me?"

"That's really cool." Human Rose tilted her head. "And weird. What are the chances of my running into a dog with the same name as me?"

"You're not answering my question, dear." the setter chided her.

Rose looked sat back, and began to draw in the dirt again with her finger.

"You're with those two crazy looking dudes, aren't ya, toots?" Buster asked.

Rose nodded. "And the metal dog." Buster and Rose nodded.

"It's just…They're making themselves look like idiots, but… they're not my idiots. And…I think I'm jealous." Rose admitted.

"Well, then toots, there's only one thing you can do." Buster jumped and placed his front paws on Rose's shoulder, and leant in close to her face. "You've got to make them even MORE jealous." He jumped off and ran in a bunch of small circles.

"He's right, you know." the canine Rose agreed.

"Yeah toots. And I've got the perfect plan." Buster pulled lightly on the edge of Rose's pant leg with his teeth.

She knew dogs were supposed to be man's best friend, but since when would it ever be wise to trust two, strange talking dogs with no noses on an alien planet?

But making the Doctors jealous sounded like SUCH a good idea…

Rose got up and dusted herself off, before jogging off after the two dogs who padded lightly down the street.


	3. Chapter 3

Barcelona or Bust!

By futbalfreak18

Dedicated to seablue4u

I lay absolutely no claim on anything Doctor Who except for the few original characters I introduce.

Pleas ReadandReview for the love of all things strange, alien, or related to Doctor Who!!

* * *

"That's it?"

"Yep toots, that's all you got to do."

"The way you made it sound I thought you had some grandiose plan of mayhem and destruction, but all you've got is this?"

"C'mon girlie, it's classic. It's bound to work."

"That's no guarantee."

"It works in the movies."

"That's supposed to convince me? I thought dogs couldn't watch tv."

"Okay toots. You're runnin' around with these loons who take you to Barcelona, during the biggest celebration of the year just to ignore you, but you won't take a chance on me? That's a little weird, if you ask me. And you betcha' I can watch tv. Can't get enough o' 'I Love Lucy' or, or, or 'Torchwood'. I just love that guy, Captain Jack. Oh, yeah, and-"

"Ok, ok, I get it. You've got me convinced." Rose laughed.

"That's the ticket, girlie!" Buster jumped and flipped in the air, grinning. Rose, the Irish setter, smiled too.

Rose smirked. Well, at least this was something she was good at.

Rose put her game face on. She was limbered up, and had played it through in her head dozens of times, from beginning to end. By the time her colorful, fruity drink, complete with umbrella and sword-pierced pineapple arrived, Rose was ready.

She crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair. She was sitting at a table at an outdoor café. Both Buster and canine Rose were hidden underneath the table cloth of the table. There was only one chair across from her, but plenty of extras were standing nearby. It was perfect. She could take groups or singles.

She put on a playful smile, and stirred her orange drink with the little pink umbrella that came with it. It was nice there was a celebration going on. Made her job easy.

There was one guy leaning against the side of a food vendor that had been set up across the street, but he looked like a creeper. There was another group of about six, burly men coming down the street who were peeking at her, but Rose thought that bet might be a bit dangerous.

Rose caught the glances of a group of guys who had been sitting on the edge of a fountain that sat in the middle of plaza the café was on. There were three of them, all oddly dressed in what looked like a hodgepodge of clothes chosen only for their full array of colors. In fact, one had a coat made of mismatched colors and patches while another had a rather red or burgundy coat. The third had a plaid dog collar around his neck, which did not help his neon yellow outfit at all, but Rose swore that she'd seen those coats and that dog collar somewhere before…

Either way, they were definitely giving Rose THE look. She did a quick check to make sure the Doctors were in viewing range. The fourth Doctor was in the process of retying his leather boots, while the ninth Doctor was leaning against a lamppost watching a Yorkshire Terrier walk down the street. Rose looked back to her prey. She batted her eyes and gave a seductive smile.

And the game began.

The trio slowly made their way over to Rose. They were tall and lanky, but were well toned muscle wise. They looked by Earth standards to be about twenty-one or two. Apart from their odd dress, they weren't a bad catch. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Two of the trio pulled up chairs to Rose's table, and the three sat down. Rose smiled. To most it was the sweet and innocent grin of a young girl, but to the well-trained eye it was the wolfish grin of a predator in action.

"So how are you fine gents doing tonight?" she asked. It was an innocent question.

"Pretty good, pretty good. Well, at least now that we've met you." said the tallest one with the patchy coat. He sat directly across from Rose. "Hope you don't mind if we join you."

"Oh no, of course not. You know, I was just looking for a bit of company." Rose added a girlish giggle on the end. All she needed was to teach herself how to blush on command and she'd have this routine perfect. She'd win the gold if flirting was an Olympic event.

"I'm Rose, by the way." She daintily sipped a little of her fruity drink. All three men seemed to have a slight blush on their cheeks, but it was hard to tell. The one that had spoken before smiled.

"I'm Todd." He motioned to his left. "This is Jun, and here on my right is Tom." The other two guys smiled and nodded their heads in acknowledgement. Rose desperately wanted to look for her Doctors to see if they were paying attention, but she knew if she did her entire cover was blown.

Rose continued to make small talk. Occasionally, she'd add in giggles, or shyly hide her head in her shoulder behind a curtain of blonde hair. Just the usual, but Rose couldn't remember anything her prey said. Not that it mattered. They were nothing but Rose's playthings, putty in her hands. Carefully, she reached her feet out past Buster and canine Rose to barely poke the feet of the men sitting across from her. It would be the her greatest challenge yet to play footsie with three guys AND carry on intelligible conversation, but she was Rose Tyler. She could do this. Besides, if there was on thing that the Doctors seemed to pick up on it was Rose was playing footsie. Even if there was a table cloth in the way, Rose knew they'd sense it immediately. Like Spiderman's Spider-sense. Of course maybe it was the way they guys across from her sort of got glazed expressions when her feet started reaching up their pant legs.

Suddenly, nudges were running up and down her own legs. Buster and Rose? What were they doing?

"Mistress."

"K-9?" K-9 had rolled up to the edge of the table.

Rose looked across the table to wear her playthings were rapidly leaving, while trying to discreetly pull their coats in front of them.

"Dude, we gotta get out of here. I don't want to get stunned again" Jun said to Todd. He was staring at K-9, and had his arms up as if to defend himself at any moment.

"Yeah, I don't want anything to do with that Doctor again" agreed Tom. Todd looked to Rose, and managed to make at least half of his face smile politely. The other half was petrified in utter horror.

"Sorry, we've got to run. It seems we have other places we need to be. Thanks for the conversation. Bye." And then they were gone. With a puff of dust. Not even Scooby-Doo running from the Miner Forty-niner could've kept up. Rose turned to K-9.

"K-9, do you know why they ran off?"

"My memory banks contain partial data collections involving various regenerations of the Doctor-Masters and certain buildings disappearances, however the majority of data related to those incidents has been manually erased, Mistress."

Rose sighed. Well, that was something to ask about later on, but K-9 had totally ruined her set-up. How was she supposed to bait the Doctor's now?

"So what do you need, K-9? Is there a drunk alien ripping off people's heads? Is some innocent person stuck in a time loop? Are the Cybermen attacking?"

"No, Mistress. I have a message from the Doctor-Masters." Rose's ears perked. "They told me to tell you that they said that you shouldn't be flirting with other people. The fourth Doctor-Master would also like to add that he should be the only one you play footsie with."

Rose let out a low growl. They completely ignore her, and then they expect her to reserve herself for them only?! And then they don't even come to her, they send K-9?!

"Well K-9, please tell the Doctors that I will do as I wish, so they can just go back to their little game." Rose stood up and left the table. She didn't even pay for her drink. Which was probably good because she didn't have any money anyway. She could hear paws padding behind her, but she didn't look back.

If this was how the Doctors were going to treat her, especially after building up such hype about Barcelona… An evil grin spread across her face. Well… She was going to make them pay. Big time.

* * *

A/N Yes, I know that this was pretty much a Rosefest, but don't worry. In the next chapter, both Doctors, K-9, and all of the characters I've introduced will play a role. I promise! Seriously.


End file.
